Ephesians 6:1-3: Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
God exhorts us to honor father and mother. He values honoring parents enough to include it in the 10 Commandments (Exodus 20:12) and again in the New Testament. Every command within Scripture is very important, but to underscore a command a second time is particularly important. What does it mean to honor our parents? For the Biblical answer, we turn to:
- Historical Context: Moses was the author of the Book of Exodus (Exodus 17:14; 24:4-7; 34:27), written between 1440 and 1400 B.C. In God’s timing, the exodus marked the end of a period of oppression for Abraham’s descendants (Genesis 15:13), and constituted the beginning of the fulfillment of the covenant promise to Abraham that his descendants would not only live in the Promise Land, but would also multiply and become a great nation (Genesis 12:1-3, 7). Hence: the family emphasis including appropriate honor to parents. The purpose of the book may be expressed or stated as tracing the rapid growth of Jacob’s descendants from Egypt to the establishment of the theocratic nation in their Promised Land based upon the family concept: the family of God is demonstrated in the historical family unit. In short, God’s lesson and expression of family hierarchy was exemplified in the conventional family unit. [God established only two social institutions: the Church and the Family. Neither is up for debate as to its existence, nature, definition or relevance. Just as I do not recognize those who would attempt to redefine the family in terms of sexual orientation, multiple partners, etc., neither do I accept a court’s authority to redefine such – including the authority to nullify a marriage with a divorce decree. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6); Malachi 2:16a: “I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel.”; “…the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32).] Since we are talking about Ephesians, 1:1 identifies the author of the Book of Ephesians as the Apostle Paul., very likely written between 60-63 A.D. Paul intended all those that long for Christ-like maturity to receive this writing. Enclosed within the Book of Ephesians is the discipline needed to develop into true sons of God (family theme continued). Furthermore, a study in Ephesians fortifies and establishes the believer so he can fulfill the purpose and calling God has given. The aim of this epistle is to confirm and to equip a maturing church. It presents a balanced view of the body of Christ and its importance in God’s economy. As such, it is significant that a right relationship with our earthly parents is included – an indicator of key element if we are to grow in God’s grace, favor and usefulness [and a reflection of Ephesians 4:32 – a key to our discussion].
- Grammatical Usage: “Honor” in the Greek is “timao” meaning, “to revere, prize and value.” The Greek word “hypakouo” means to, “obey, to listen, or to heed.”
- Literal Application: “Children, always obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. Always honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment accompanied by a promise. So that it may be will with you and you may have along life upon the earth.”
- Contextual Interpretation: Honor is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank. For example, some Americans may disagree with the President’s decisions, but they should still respect his position as leader of their country. Similarly, children of all ages should honor their parents, regardless of whether their parents “deserve” honor or not. Obviously, we’re commanded to honor our parents, but how? Honor them with both our actions and attitudes (Mark 7:6-13 This is a key passage which deals with attitude followed by action – God indicates that if our attitude is correct, we will exemplify the honoring action. Remember, the object of our action is not our parents, but God as we honor him with obedience. Notice the reference to God looking upon the intent of the heart. Note also Matthew 15:3-9). Honor their unspoken as well as spoken wishes. “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a scorner does not hear rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1). Honor includes the idea of bringing glory to someone. First Corinthians 10:31 tells us that whatever we say or do, we are to do all to the glory of God. We should seek to honor our parents in a similar way that Christians strive to bring glory to God—in our thoughts, words, and actions. For a minor child, obeying parents goes hand and hand with honoring them. That includes listening, heeding, and submitting to their authority. After children mature, the obedience that they learned as children will serve them well in honoring authorities such as government, police, and employers. While we’re required to honor parents, that doesn’t include imitating ungodly ones (Ezekiel 20:18-19). What if your parents ask you to do something wrong? In that case, you must obey God rather than man (Acts 5:28).
- Scriptural Comparison: In Old Testament days, speaking evil against one’s parents or rebelling against their instructions resulted in capital punishment (Exodus 21:15-17)! While those who honor their parents are blessed (Jeremiah 35:18-19), a trait of both those with a “depraved mind” and those who characterize ungodliness in the last days is disobedience to parents (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2). Solomon, the wisest man, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1; 30:17). Although we may not be directly under their authority right now, we can’t outgrow God’s command to honor our parents. Even Jesus, God the Son, submitted Himself to both His earthly parents and heavenly Father (Matthew 26:39; Luke 2:51). Following Christ’s example, as Christians we should treat our parents the way we would reverentially approach our heavenly Father (Hebrews 12:9; Malachi 1:6). In Matthew 15:3-9, Jesus reminded the Pharisees of the command of God to honor their father and mother. They were obeying the letter of the law, but they had added their own traditions that essentially overruled it. While they honored their parents in word, their actions proved their real heart motive. Honor is more than lip service. The word honor in this passage is a verb and, as such, demands a right choice/action.
- Conclusion: The command to honor parents is the only command with a promise: “that it may be well with you” (Ephesians 6:3). Honor begets honor. God will not honor those who will not obey His command to honor their parents. If we desire to please God and be blessed, we should honor our parents. Honoring isn’t easy, isn’t always fun, and certainly isn’t possible in our own strength. But honor is a certain path to our purpose in life: glorifying God. “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).