The first mother mentioned in the Bible is, of course, Eve. Genesis 3:20 says, “The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.” “Eve” means “life or living” so, clearly, a mother brings forth life in the form of a baby.
This naturally means that a woman becomes a “mother” which, in the Hebrew, is the word ’em. That word adds another aspect of motherhood in that not only does a woman bear a child, but has the idea that she nurtures that child until he or she can stand on their own two feet. Literally the word ‘em implies a point of departure. So motherhood, as established in the Bible, represents someone who is a nurturing source…bringing forth life and then caring for that life in order that a son or daughter may be eventually independent … living on their own.
I know that there are women who have not actually given birth who find Mothers Day an awkward day of recognition. But I want to stress what I have come to discover is a little known fact in that the Bible does not reserve motherhood only for women with biological children. Judges 5:7 identifies the prophet and judge Deborah as “a mother in Israel,” but she was also a mother to Israel. In fact, due to her nurturing and care, there was a rare 40 year period of rest for the land. Now how did she do that? She provided wisdom (Judges 4:5: She used to sit under the palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the people of Israel came up to her for judgment.) and, under God’s leading, showed Israel the way they were to go (verse 6: She sent and summoned Barak the son of Abinoam from Kedesh-naphtali and said to him, “…the God of Israel, commanded you, ‘Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor, taking 10,000 from the people of Naphtali and the people of Zebulun.). She even tried to encourage her “grown child” to follow God on his own, without her constant presence (verses 8-9: Barak said to her, “If you will go with me, I will go, but if you will not go with me, I will not go.” 9 And she said, “I will surely go with you. Nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.” Then Deborah arose and went with Barak to Kedesh.). Again, because of Deborah’s wisdom and guidance, Israel enjoyed a rare period of peace (Judges 5:31: … And the land had rest for forty years.). Now here is the point: according to Scripture, all women can follow Deborah’s example to encourage, nurture, and train those around them to live mature, effective, and God-honoring lives. And, according to the Bible, you…too…are a mother.
So, what do we take from Deborah’s example in Judges, in conjunction with other Scripture, as to how you…as a woman…should be about the divinely appointed task of mothering those lives to which God has entrusted you? I would suggest there are seven key points:
- In the biblical view, the mission is to raise children to follow God. To that end, God designed your influence upon children to be a) cared for, b) loved, c) trained, and d) empowered. Notice the progression – infant to young adult, this is the formula to be followed. Now this requires both kindness and discipline and I want to stress, as a point of recognition if nothing else, that being a Christian mother encompasses a great degree of tension. Why? Because in your role you must be kind but still uphold biblical expectations; and not only that, you must sense when to let go of the children you have nurtured. As most Christian mothers can attest, it is difficult to balance the natural instinct to protect one’s child from harm with the necessity to equip the child for life as an adult. Yet, Proverbs 22:6 carries a promise: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
- Mothers are reminded to love their children (Titus 2:4: and so train the young women to love their husbands and children)—to feel affection for them, to approve of, like, and to have a kind attitude toward them. Now some may find this odd – don’t all mothers love their children? Clearly not. I’ll give you just one statistic of 2014: 15.5 million children live in a home where domestic violence has occurred…against them. Why? The responsibility of a child means other areas of one’s life have to be sacrificed and it is not easy to put one’s self second…especially to a child who doesn’t realize the sacrifice being made. I know for couples who have a disabled child, the divorce rate is an astounding 80%. Clearly, every parent faces the self vs. selfless challenge. Paul had to remind Titus to remind the women of his congregation…this isn’t a new issue, but it is a perpetual fight against the flesh in sacrifice for another. Mothers…love your children.
- At the same time, a mother is to train her children to live godly lives (Psalm 78:5-6: He (God) established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children). Do you see the influence you have? You are influencing the next, unborn generation! And you are an instrument in God’s hand in helping children discover how they, personally, can contribute to God’s kingdom (Proverbs 22:6). You see, moms are generally in the home more than dads. As such, their influence is great…more personal…more sensitive. They handle the day-to-day instruction and, as such, training results which leads to godly lives.
- Children don’t always make this task easy. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 gives the law that if an Israelite child was completely rebellious toward his parents, to the point where he endangered them and those around them, the parents were responsible to turn the son in to the authorities. If the crimes were serious enough, the governing body could then have the son executed. This law must have been incredibly difficult for mothers whose first instinct was to protect their child, and, indeed, there is no record that the law was ever used yet – what a heartbreaker. Jesus expressed a motherly heartbreak in Luke 13:34 when He said, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” Part of a Christian mother’s responsibility in equipping and training her children is to explain and embody the character and holiness of God (Deuteronomy 6:4-7), even if the child rejects everything to do with God. Having raised children myself, I find it comforting to know that Jesus Himself also struggled with rebellious children.
- Another serious tension in Christian motherhood is that of being a life-giver as well as a place of departure. As we have mentioned, Genesis 3:20 describes Eve, the first mother, as the source of life. In Genesis 17:16, God promised Abraham that his wife Sarah would become the mother, or source, of many nations and kings. But God also told Eve’s children to “fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28), which would require them to leave her. Having sent two children out into the world, there is a sense of loss. It is inevitable. No more running in and out…no more “Mom can I do this or that”…”Mom, can I eat this or that”…”Mom my brother won’t leave me alone!” and on and on it goes. When the house goes silent, it is disconcerting. But…the point of the exercise is raise them up to be physically and spiritually competent to stand with God…NOT stand alone … but stand with God.
- Having just referenced it…similarly, mothers need to remember that the purpose of mothering is to develop a strong, independent adult (Genesis 2:24). Now why would I bring this up again? Well, in some cases, children live close to Mom and this inevitably leads to tension. Even if that adult child resides geographically close, she must allow the child the freedom to live as an adult, taking his or her mother’s wisdom into account (Proverbs 31:2) but still making his or her own decisions—even decisions she doesn’t understand or agree with. Proverbs 31:1-9 is a wonderful account from a son of a mother stepping into his adult life with appropriate counsel: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” This son understood his mother’s intent of raising him to strong and independent in a Godly sense.
- In order to hold the tension of motherhood, God expects Christian mothers to have two specific characteristics. The first is inferred in Proverbs 1:8-9: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” In order for a child to trust his mother’s wisdom, the mother must actually be wise. Therefore, mothers need to follow God and rely on the promises in 2 Peter 1:3, which says, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence.” But Christian mothers should also keep in mind Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” So, secondly, Discipline and training are greatly undermined when they are given without respect or affection. Add the two together, and you get Ephesians 4:15—speaking the truth in love.
Conclusion
Motherhood is not the sum total of a Christian woman’s responsibilities. She is also a child of God (Romans 8:14), possibly a respectful wife (Ephesians 5:33) if indeed married, always an essential part of her local church (1 Corinthians 12:4-31). In all of these relationships, a woman can exhibit Christian motherhood by supporting, training, and empowering others so they can make their own contribution to God’s Kingdom. Therefore, to every woman here – a blessed Mother’s Day to each!