Christian communication covers many aspects of the relationship between born-again believers and our relationships with the world at large.
Believer-to-Believer Communications
There is in the New Testament
what is called the “one another commands.” These commands, when
followed, are a source of correct believer-to-believer communication. The
commands could be looked at as God’s code of conduct for Christian
relationships. However, we do not naturally do the things that are commanded in
the “one another’s.” Christian communication is a skill we must
choose to learn by submitting to the Word of God and by applying it to our
lives.
The following is a list of some of the “one another” commands found in the New
Testament related to Christian communication:
Love one another – John 13:34 & John 15:12,17.
Forgive one another – Ephesians 4:32 & Colossians 3:13.
Be servants to one another – Galatians 5:13.
Show hospitality to one another – 1 Peter 4:7-10.
Pray for one another – James 5:16.
Build up (edify) one another – Romans 14:19, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
Greet one another – Romans 16:16, 1 Peter 5:14.
Forbear one another – Ephesians. 4:1-2 & Colossians 3:13-14.
Do not judge one another – Romans 14:13.
Do not speak evil of one another – James 4:11.
Do not murmur against one another – James 5:9.
Do not bite and devour one another – Galatians 5:15.
Do not provoke and envy one another – Galatians 5:26.
Have the same care for one another – 1 Corinthians 12:25-26.
Receive one another – Romans 15:7.
Teach one another – Colossians 3:16.
Admonish (counsel) one another – Romans 15:14 & Colossians 3:16.
Submit to one another – Ephesians 5:21-22.
Confess your sins to one another – James 5:16.
Do not lie to one another – Colossians 3:9.
Be kind to one another – Ephesians 4:32.
Comfort one another – 1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:11.
Every Scripture reference in this list begins and ends with the first one.
“A new command I give you: Love one another” (John 13:34). The love of
Christ is the catalyst for our Christian communication with each other in our
marriages and indeed in all our relationships.
Believer-to-World Communications
It is very interesting to note that the word communication can refer not only to our interpersonal relationships but also our whole manner of life, and these commands are a correct guide to walking as believers. As we comport ourselves according to the “one another” commands, we are “doers of the word and not just hearers” (James 1:22), and we communicate to the world around us that we are children of our Father.
The following are general Biblically-based basic communications convictions which, while characterizing all of our conversation, has relevance when dealing with non-believers:
- The psalmist has given us a model prayer for good speech.
Psalm 19:14: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
- Commit yourself to speaking only what is right and true.
Proverbs 8:6-8: “Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. 7 My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. 8 All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.”
- Do not speak harshly.
Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
- Engender calm with every reply.
Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- Be quick to listen, slow to speak.
James 1:19: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
- Listen so your reply does not engender shame.
Proverbs 18:13: “He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.”
- God forbids us to lie; he wants us to speak the truth.
Exodus 20:16: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.”
Ephesians 4:25: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
- The Lord detests lying.
Proverbs 12:22: “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”
- All lying is of the devil, the father of lies.
John 8:44: “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
- Lying will be punished.
Proverbs 19:9: “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish.”
- Do not hurt your neighbor by gossip or careless talk; control your tongue.
Proverbs 11:11-13: “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. 12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. 13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”
Proverbs 12:18: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Proverbs 17:27-28: “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding
is even-tempered. 28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
Proverbs 29:19: “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.”
Proverbs 21:23: “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”
- Tame the tongue; it can be very destructive.
James 3:1-12: “1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
- We must help stop gossip and strife.
Proverbs 26:20: “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”
- Be careful. Don’t speak rashly.
Proverbs 13:3: “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
James 5:12: “But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.”
Exodus 20:7: “Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”