The importance of this subject is seen by the fact that the Holy Spirit has devoted such a large proportion of this letter to the relationships which should exist between Christians.
Ephesians 5:21: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
How, then, should believers behave in the exacting relationships of domestic life? The answer is in v. 21. In other words, the basis of a happy and a harmonious home is mutual submission; not proud resistance, not striving to stand up for one’s “rights”, but a loving consideration of the other person, a mutual respect and loyalty, a Christ-like spirit. Consider in detail the relationships mentioned.
These are not man’s ideas but God’s instructions. Wives are to submit themselves to their husbands “as to the Lord…in everything.” The Lord is the Head of the Body, the Church, and thus He cares for the Church, provides for it and protects it. The husband is to do this for his wife, and thus the wife is to submit herself to him as her head. It is not a question of the superiority of the husband and the inferiority of the wife, but of the respective positions God, in His sovereign wisdom, has assigned to each. From Creation this has been God’s order (Genesis 2: 21-23) and if the order is reversed there will always be trouble.
The husband is to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – that is, with a love that is unselfish and sacrificial. How often there is lack of thoughtful consideration and of understanding on the part of the husband, and how frequently this causes unhappiness in the home! A husband’s love for his wife must operate in every phase of the matrimonial, domestic and social life, which includes the more intimate relationships as well as those that are observed by others.
These verses give us God’s order for a Christian home, and it is the only kind of home that He recognizes. What a need there is today for children to give heed to v. 2! In 2 Timothy 3:1-3, notice that disobedience to parents is one of the signs of the apostasy of “the last days.” In our Lord Jesus Christ we have the perfect example of obedience per Luke 2:51.
Notice that this verse begins with a note of warning: “Do not exasperate your children” (see Deuteronomy 6:6-9). What a sacred ministry is entrusted to those who have children to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Proverbs 22:6).
In Ephesus there were slaves in most households, and that is why the Holy Spirit has included this master-servant relationship here. What a high standard is expected from servants! We are to work for our earthly master just as if he were our heavenly Master (vv. 5; 7). This means that we shall not watch the clock, we shall not be late, lazy or disloyal – and God will surely reward us (v. 8).
This means that employers are to give the same consideration as they expect and to which they are entitled from their employees. Here is food for thought for all employers!
These are God’s guidance for happy, holy and harmonious human relationships, and they are only possible as we live in obedience to Ephesians 5:18 – that is, as wives and husbands, children and parents, servants and masters seek to live their lives under the control of and in submissive obedience to the Holy Spirit.